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Member's Stories
By providing our range of support services to our Ripple Pond families, we have been lucky enough to witness them adapt, grow and overcome many challenges they have to face as caregivers.
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It is never easy and we truly admire their heart, courage and perseverance. Here are just a few of our Member's many success stories.
We knew our son was in trouble whilst he was in the Army, and tried to get Army welfare involved. We were told that they could only help if our son approached them directly, otherwise they weren’t able to do anything. The problem with that is that our son would never have reached out for help, because he didn’t see that there was anything wrong with him. He’s been sectioned several times now and, despite him sometimes saying that he’s glad he was sectioned, he still doesn’t see that there’s anything wrong. We had to watch him deteriorate, and see his relationship fall apart, and we weren’t able to find any information or get any help. We felt completely powerless as parents, and that had a big impact on both of us, both emotionally and on our relationship. We called RBL to see if they could offer us support, and they signposted us to The Ripple Pond. That initial call with the team was the first time we had felt listened to, and we’ve felt supported ever since. All of a sudden, we didn't feel like we were the only parents in our situation, it wasn’t just us up against the world. Realising that we weren’t alone helped to shift the focus with our son too, and everything became different. It can be heard for other people to understand that the issues can feel so different for parents – even though he isn’t living with us day to day, our son will always be our child. Although we have a good relationship with him, and we see him regularly, the worry doesn’t ever disappear. It has been so helpful to see other members’ stories, and to be able to take a little bit away from each one. We mainly use the parents’ WhatsApp group, because we don’t use Facebook, but we don’t often tend to get actively involved with the chats. As parents, we feel that our focus is more on sorting out our son and his issues; but we do discuss what we’ve seen between ourselves, and we’ll always reach out and offer support to anyone who is struggling. Up until joining TRP, we had felt isolated and alone. Finding an outlet where we feel listened to and heard has been a saviour.
Jane's Story
(Name changed for anonymity.)
I call myself a ‘retired Army wife’, because my husband and I weren’t together when he was serving. He left the Army seven years ago, then 6.5 years ago he was sent to prison. At that time, I didn’t know where to turn for help. I posted on The Ripple Pond Members Facebook group about my husband having PTSD and being in prison, and members responded straight away, to say 'we’re here for you' and 'what can we do for you?'. Two members even called me, with one talking to me until 2am, and staying in touch with me afterwards. She was the person who set me the challenge of finding three positives every day – without using the same one twice in a week – and asked me to send them to her in a message. This was absolutely a saving grace for me. What also helped was the fact that I was never asked why my husband was in prison, and nobody ever told me to walk away from him. They just understood, and they supported me. At a time when all other support was focused on my husband, The Ripple Pond supporting me as an individual made a big difference. Building my health, confidence, and resilience After I’d shared my story with the community, a dozen other members shared that they were – or had been - in a similar situation to mine. Those conversations helped me because they made me feel useful, and they gave me the chance to show other people the light at the end of the tunnel. The community, and having the support of The Ripple Pond, even got me to a point where I was able to do a lot of advocacy for my husband whilst he was in prison. Funnily enough, it had actually been my husband who suggested that I join The Ripple Pond in the first place, to give me a private outlet where I could relate to people in similar positions. The fact that it’s grown so much in such a short space of time shows how much The Ripple Pond is needed. I like that there’s never any set commitment or pressure with The Ripple Pond. The services and support is there was you when you want it and help is always at hand. Members don't have regular free time, so the fact that The Ripple Pond can fit around our lives, or we can drop in and out, is really important. Nobody thinks twice if a member posts for support after having been quiet for 6 months – we just give the support that’s needed, without question. There’s no judgement, and everyone is willing to be there for each other. We share our common ground and our own experiences, to help answer each other’s questions. That lived experience is so important, because it’s a real person saying ‘this has worked for us’, or ‘that didn't work for us'. Our knowledge grows as the number of members grows. Thank you The Ripple Pond
Rachel's Story
(Name changed for anonymity.)
Our journey began in our teenage years, but the twists of life led us apart when he joined the Army and ventured into Northern Ireland. Years passed and our paths crossed again in 2019. Little did I know the profound challenges we would face as he battled Complex PTSD, a struggle that would ultimately lead me to The Ripple Pond in 2020. When we reunited, he had just completed the Warrior Programme, seemingly having his PTSD under control. Assured that he was fine, I viewed him through rose-tinted glasses, oblivious to the signs that all was not well. His past relationship struggles, coupled with the diagnosis, offered a semblance of clarity, explaining the oddities in his behaviour. In a recent revelation, he confessed to years of self-medicating with drugs, particularly cocaine, during his darkest moments. His coping mechanism involved withdrawing, a behaviour we accepted, not fully understanding the extent of his struggles. The turning point came when his mental health crisis escalated into a suicide attempt. It was then that I was referred to The Ripple Pond by his worker at TILS (The NHS Veterans Mental Health Transition, Intervention, and Liaison Service, now a part of Op Courage). The Ripple Pond became my sanctuary, revealing a community of Members sharing similar struggles. Initially, I was hesitant about disclosing my partner's cocaine use, but I found courage in the supportive Ripple Pond environment. Opening up in group chats felt daunting, yet the positive reactions and the shared stories of addiction within the Armed Forces community surprised me. The Ripple Pond proved a godsend, offering me a lifeline and altering my perspective. The misconception that support was solely for the service person dissolved as I found support and understanding for myself. The peer support forums allowed me to connect with other Members on a personal level. I have learned that support for partners is just as crucial as supporting the veteran. My partner withdrew his permission for his therapist to have contact with me. From that point, I was flying blind. I struggled to understand how I could help and support the person I loved. Understanding the intricacies of the veteran's therapy journey is crucial. The Ripple Pond has helped me understand his journey, as well as build my own personal resilience. Recognising the impact The Ripple Pond has had on my life, I am now giving back as much as possible, and with the charity's help, I have been involved with some exciting strategy planning with the NHS. The Ripple Pond community has been a beacon of light, and I am determined to give back as much as I have received
I felt that I was constantly walking on eggshells for several years before finding The Ripple Pond. My husband has a physical injury that affects his mobility as well as complex PTSD. We met when we were both teenagers and have been together over 20 years, all through his Army career, and we now have a teenage son. What I appreciate best about TRP is the sense of community it fosters, with individuals who understand and don't pass judgment. I know there will always be someone there for me if I need them, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, across the different peer support platforms. I love to see familiar faces on the Virtual Members Meet Ups and to hear other Ripple Pond Member’s stories and then to keep updated with their highs and lows. I have made a connection with a particular Member and now we speak outside of those meetings to support each other on a one-to-one basis. Making connections with a wide range of people and learning from each other through our lived experiences is validating and helps me to realise that I’m not the only one going through the ups and downs of supporting an injured loved one. Although our stories are so very different, our journeys are so similar. The benefit is that everyone is at a different stage in their journey, so the care and support is ongoing. TRP offers a wide range of services; I received employment assistance and have saved a number of online talks to watch when I have the time. One talk that I found particularly useful was given by a Member and included advice and tips on how she and her family deal with PTSD in the home.
