Caring wisdom from films:

How fiction can inspire real life

Caring is one of the most challenging yet profoundly rewarding roles a person can take on. Whatever your caring role may look like for you, the additional emotional, physical, and mental demands can feel overwhelming at times. While The Ripple Pond team and our peer support groups are available to help, sometimes, words of wisdom can come from unexpected places - like the silver screen.

Films often dramatise the experience of carers, bringing to life stories of compassion, endurance, and self-discovery. These stories, though fictional, can sometimes hold up a mirror to our own lives. Here’s a look at some cinematic portrayals of caregiving and the lessons we can draw from them.

Balancing sacrifice and self-care - The Notebook

In The Notebook (2004), Noah’s unwavering care for his wife, Allie, as she battles Alzheimer’s disease is both heartwarming and heartrending. His devotion exemplifies the beauty of unconditional love, but it also raises an important question: how can caregivers balance their needs with the sometimes, relentless demands of caring for a loved one?

Lesson: While Noah’s story is a testament to enduring love, it also underscores the importance of self-care. As carers, we need to recognise our limits and seek help when necessary. Whether it’s hiring professional support, leaning on family, or taking a well-deserved break, self-care is not selfish—it’s essential.

Understanding emotional and physical needs - The fundamentals of caring

"Caregiving is not just about feeding and clothing and cleaning. It is also about understanding how to navigate a complicated relationship between those who give care, and those who are in need of it."

The Fundamentals of Caring (2016) is a drama-comedy film based on the novel. The Story follows Ben, a retired writer struggling with grief after losing his son, who becomes a carer for Trevor, a sarcastic teenager who uses a wheelchair and has Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

Lesson: Understanding both the emotional and physical needs of the person you’re caring for is essential. Ben shows empathy by encouraging Trevor to live beyond his limitations.

Accepting change - Still Alice

Still Alice (2014) is a deeply moving portrayal of a linguistics professor, Alice, who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. As Alice’s condition progresses, her family must grapple with the reality of losing the person they once knew. The film offers an unflinching look at the emotional toll of caring, but it also teaches the importance of acceptance.

Lesson: Caring often involves navigating a “new normal.” Accepting change doesn’t mean giving up - it means adapting to circumstances and finding ways to cope. Alice’s family learns to cherish moments of clarity and prioritise her quality of life, offering a roadmap for real-life carers facing similar challenges.

Films definitely don’t offer all the answers, but they provide a space to explore the complexities of caring, particularly for those of us who aren’t caring for someone. They can validate the emotions carers experience to people who don’t play a caring role in life -love, frustration, grief, and joy - while offering glimpses of hope and resilience.

These stories remind us that caring is a profoundly human endeavour. It’s okay to stumble, to seek help, and to grow from the experience. Most importantly, they can encourage us to find beauty and meaning in even the most challenging moments.